CRASHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD APPROACHING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive flood of spam is about to explode down on your inbox. We're talking horrendous amounts of phony emails packed with vile porn. These bastards are trying to trick you out of your hard-earned dollars, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any buttons in these emails, and report them immediately. Don't get ca